When I contemplate how old I am and how much has changed in the world, I am gobsmacked, dumbfounded and feel quite out of place. I was a kid in the 50s and times were simple and safe. I lived in an apartment building, and we could leave our windows and door to the back porch open at night in the summer to let in a cool breeze. You could walk down the street without being laughed at and bullied...well, at least a lot less than nowadays. I was fat and there was no getting around anyone pointing a finger and singling me out as different. My mother could walk back from sodality meetings at church at night without worry of being accosted or robbed. There was a sense of community in which people protected rather than harassed one another.
And then, there's the world of technology to deal with. Back in the 50s we did not have computers or cell phones to occupy our time. We did have television, but parents usually put a limit on how many hours you could watch it. It was the same with radio. You could listen for an hour or so a day. If you played games - no, not video games; no internet, remember - physical games like softball, basketball or touch football; or had hobbies like stamp collecting, getting autographs or accumulating baseball cards or record albums ... these were pleasant, peaceful pastimes without any kind of violence that could physically or mentally harm you or your friends. It was a keen time in which to grow up.
Advanced technology creates distractions from what is basic and at the core of our lifestyle. Take violence, for example. It's everywhere we look in 2019. In international wars, on the big and small screens, and on the computer. The internet fosters hooking up with people you don't know, possible criminals who can take advantage of you in so many damaging ways. Now I am a grandfather. I have to look out for my children and my grandkids. They are my responsibility ... or are they? Has our world become so technologically advanced and independant that we can function alone without close personal help? Is it inconsiderate to question any choices they may make; do they consider us butting into their affairs and interfering in what belongs to them and them alone? This is a big problem in our relationships. But do we want to court violence that can happen in the blink of an eye, that can destroy our loving connections?
Let's take a close look at my friend Tim, also a grandfather, and how keeping quiet has created a significant rift with his family members. Tim does not believe in putting himself in the middle of controversy, even though keeping silent makes him terribly unhappy. His little 10 year-old grandson Mark emails him all the time to tell him of his exploits, like overspending on his father's credit cards or shunning relatives even when they send him gifts, or worse, lying to his parents about what he has been doing. When Tim phones his daughter Ellen - the family lives in Pennsylvania - she laughs when she tells him how cute she thinks Mark has become in his efforts to get ahead and how sharp his aggressiveness is in propelling him forward into, what she believes will be a successful future. Tim is appalled but says nothing. He's petrified to get into a fight with Ellen. He is also afraid to fly back and visit, knowing full well the horrors that await him.
I am always telling Tim that he is dead wrong. We have been friends a long time, since college, and so I know I can say anything to him. I want to encourage him to do what I have been doing. My little 9 year-old granddaughter Susie has already overlooked parental permission. She uses the internet to hook up with whom she believes to be new friends. She even made a date to meet a man on her school playground during mid-morning break. I was mortified, and when I told her that was wrong, she giggled and said, "Grandpa, you're an old fuddy duddy."|"Don\t talk to me that way", I retorted, "Never talk to your elders like that." She hung up on me, so I called my son Dave and told him how I felt. At first he made light of it, but in a week or so, he called me back and apologized. "Dad, I know you mean well...and you're right. I have suspended Susie's privileges. No internet for a week." I told him it should be for good, but I knew full well that a week's punishment is better than none at all.
As it turned out that man Susie met was harmless, but what if he had kidnapped her or tried to rape her? It happens all the time and I do not wish my relatives to be party to that. Communicate how you feel or else you are miserable. I have to compromise my feelings but so be it. Tim won't do a thing. I pray he will not be in for a shock, as Mark seems to get more brazen by the minute. From what Tim hears, Mark is getting some tattoos and has threatened to sue his parents if they try to interfere with his behavior. Imagine suits from minors! Deplorable.
Speaking of violence I accidentally caught a video game recently online and was stupified at how much violence is utilized. Kids see this and think it's a joke. Hitting someone over the head with a hockey puck, pushing someone backward and letting them fall down a flight of stairs, pulling out a knife or even worse a gun and pointing at another, threatening to pull the trigger. It's all too much. It puts evil ideas into kids' heads. It should be stopped or parents should not allow their kids to watch it. Our parents never did. I was brought up Catholic and most films with the slightest amount of objectionable material were condemned. Maybe that was not such a bad motion after all. It kept us safe. Some might look at it as reverse psychology. Try to prevent the kid from doing something and then he is bound to do it. It's a confusing world for all of us.
Technology is here to stay. It will only get more advanced, increasing dangers for one and all. Should I calm down and stop worrying? Never. I don't care. I will continue to interfere in my children's decisions that affect my grandchildren. I will do my best, whatever that is, to help keep them more secure and purposeful in their intentions. They are the future; we have to ensure that they grow up to be good leaders., who work diligently to make the world a better place.
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